They are ONLY GREEN BEANS!

When I was a kid - back in the dark ages - kids had to stay at the table until all their food was gone. No arguments or discussions. I consulted with my husband - same thing at his house. You were not excused from the table until you finished everything on your plate. I don't ever remember a time when I tried to test out what would happen if I simply refused. I was a kid who didn't really like punishment of any kind and tried to avoid it at any cost. So I ate...everything on my plate.

Now, I'm sure I didn't do it quietly. I probably whined like crazy about whatever horrifying vegetable had managed to land on my plate. But I ate it. And actually the only thing I really remember having to eat that made me absolutely sick to eat was chicken divan.

Never heard of it? Oh, you're lucky. Chicken divan is this weird sort of chicken, cream of chicken soup, broccoli, and cheese casserole concoction. The broccoli is slimey and it make everything else in the casserole taste like slimey broccoli. I remember the only way I could force it down was to wash every bite down with kool-aid. Which, God bless my mother, she always offered as a way to get through the hard meals. (for another friend of mine it was ketchup.)

But I digress...

As I speak, I am in the middle of a showdown with my four year old. I made roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, and GASP! green beans for dinner tonight. All at the table were happy for this meal, but Jacob was not...

"I don't like roast beef. You know I don't like roast beef." (this coming from the child who devours with world record speed "daddy pizza" which has ground beef on it. seriously.)

Okay, I cave, you only have to eat mashed potatoes and green beans. (we're not even going to talk about my children's bizzare aversion to sauce - of any kind)

It is now after 8, dinner was served at five, and said child is still wandering around the table crying:

"I don't like green beans. I tried one and it was not good. I'm not even hungry. I want to go to bed."

See, my husband and I decided to go old school - make him stay at the table till he finished eating. Only he must think we're bluffing.

He continues, through tears and a tissue...

"This was a stupid idea. Who's stupid idea was this? I don't even like stupid greens beans. I can't eat this. I can't. I CAN'T! I CAN'T DO IT! I'm not even hungry. I want to go to bed. Can I please go to bed? I'm not having a good time. This is stupid."

NOTE: this child also hates going to bed. Even when he's so tired he can barely stand, he will still refuse to go to bed. And he's begging for bed. Also, stupid, to Jacob, it like a four letter word. So, he is, in actuality, cursing at me in a way. Lastly, he must be where he can see me at all times to ensure that I can hear his rantings, know how stupid this all is, and potentially cave.

I am reminded that when we first tried to get this child to sleep through the night, he would cry and cry until we came for him. HOURS. When we did come for him, he'd stop and we'd rock him and put him to bed. The next night, he would cry for the exact same amount of time it took us to break the night before and then fall asleep exhausted. We found out he was just breaking us - timing us and waiting us out. Did the same thing with nursery.

But I digress, again.

Seriously, they're just green beans. GREEN BEANS!!! Not a shred of chicken divan in sight.

Seriously.